“But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.”
Ephesians 4:7
America has a problem with materialism. I will not dispute that. It is tragic the way so many people measure their worth and contentment based on the things that they possess. While I think the popular Christian criticism of this problem is for the most part fair and the consequent shift towards increased giving towards missions and social justice an incredible and righteous alteration, I do think that the Christian fight against materialism has gone one step too far.
I do not like the fact that the way we traditionally celebrate Christmas is being thrown into the same materialist basket. I admit a bias. I come from a family that went all out for me for Christmas. I did not get an allowance growing up and my parents would not buy me random toys when we went out. There were two times of the year when I could get things to play with, a smaller portion for my birthday and an overwhelming abundance of gifts under the tree when I woke up on Christmas morning. I think that this had a positive impact on my life, though my experience as a child is different from my adult experience.
As a child I understood one thing much better than I understand it today, namely, how to receive a gift. As a child I was completely dependent on my parents, so I received things from them without ever thinking that I had to pay them back. I received presents and was truly grateful. This made me good at receiving. Yet as a child I had a different problem, namely, I had to be taught how to give. My natural selfishness made it difficult to give because I was me-first.
Now that I am grown up I find myself having the opposite problem, and I observe the same problem in many others. Adults also have a me-first mentality, only this leads them to be good givers and bad receivers. It is a lot of fun to pay for someone’s lunch, yet having my lunch paid for (which has happened quite often this Christmas season) makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I need to be square with everyone. I don’t want to depend on others and, consequently, I always feel the need to pay back people for a gift. This makes me a bad receiver of gifts and prevents me from being thankful.
Spending the last three years in France I saw what this attitude can do. People there are very suspicious of gifts and it is difficult to give something to someone without expecting something in return. Even their idea of Santa Claus involves earning your gifts by being good all year. There are no gifts just for the sake of giving. If one person gives one thing, the other must also give something of equal value in order to be in right relationship.
This idea is human arrogance. Before God we find ourselves in a position where a gift is offered and we have no means of offering anything close to reciprocal. Out salvation, our life purposes, our families, and each breath we breathe are gifts from the Lord that we receive and cannot pay back. Our dependence necessitates that we respond to these gifts, not with trying to be square with God in generosity, but in loving thankfulness and the humility that comes with it.
To be specific about my gripe, I don’t like the upcoming popular Christian notion that giving gifts to families and friends ought to be replaced with giving to stop global poverty or that the gospel may go to the nations. Certainly I am for those things, but one should not have to compete with the other. I can give to those things without neglecting to give to my closest circles, and I am afraid of the consequences at what would happen to our society if we stopped exchanging gifts for Christmas. We need not only to be a people who give gifts, but also a people who receive them. The importance of the jacket I received from my parents this Christmas is not simply that I have another article of clothing (although I do and can certainly use it), but that I have received a gift from my parents. I was thankful. And while I also gave them a gift, there was never any feeling that my gift had to be equal to theirs. We exchanged gifts from each other and we experienced joy. I was happy to see my brother-in-law enjoying the slippers I got him and my sister playing the game I got her. They received their gifts well, and good receiving brings joy to the giver. To not receive gifts well is to rob the giver of joy. This is robbery to our friends and family, and ultimately robbery from God.
Let us not think that it is wrong to receive gifts. God gives to each person according to the measure of Christ’s gift, and let us not ask God to alter his gift according to what would make us more comfortable. Let us be children running to the tree on Christmas morning and respond in dependent gratitude.
